Moore & Boole
by Jethro Harrup
Summary: This is a detective story set in the Harry Potter universe; almost all main characters are distinct from those in Harry Potter, While the events of this story take place almost exclusively after the seventh Harry Potter book ideas on the intricate workings of magic and alike are primarily lifted from the Fanfiction "Harry Potter and the methods of rationality"
1. Chapter 1

"The thing about Harry Potter is he never did his own paperwork." The boorish conversation opener echoed around the cluttered office; it was allowed to echo not because it's speaker was alone but because it's intended recipient simply allowed it to do so."I mean to say" Boole continued unabated "Have you ever added up how many, good or evil, died during the battle of Hogwarts, each one of those is another fatality form, another explanation to be given for use of deadly force, and sooner or later someone up top is gonna get fed up with 'dark times called for dark methods' as an excuse." The pause for breath was minute "And then before you know it we'll have legislation calling for us: US, you and me my friend; to start filling out those forms _before_ we use deadly force: then, we are truly fucked.

A sigh. There was no point. If the challenge went unanswered for long enough Boole would form his loose argument into a true rant and before you knew it he'd take the rant outside of the safety of these offices and then...well it was better to shoot down his hopes of original thought now rather than let them fester.

"And why are we fucked? Because Harry, god almighty, Potter doesn't have time to do his own paperwork."

"You don't understand." Uttered Dirk, turning his chair slightly towards his assistant.

"What's there not to understand?"

"Firstly your understanding of the Potter situation is deeply flawed. Secondly your understanding of the meaning behind paperwork is poor at best." With that Dirk turned his chair back and continued staring at his rubber band ball.

Another tiny pause then:"How is my understanding of Potter flawed?"

"Harry Potter has been labelled officially as a 'Victim'; he is therefore excused from official duties on the grounds that, and I quote the report, 'he has been through enough'. Now we could sit here all day and argue over what in God's name 'enough' is supposed to mean; but given that this argument is with you I severely doubt that we would get anywhere close to the interesting parts of that discussion centred around the ambiguity of the law; suffice to say facing you-know-who a million times and finally besting him is almost certainly sufficient."

Boole began to interrupt but failed.

"In answer to your next question: this paperwork is not being read by someone high up; our paperwork, which is to say your paperwork, is to be filed away in draws and cabinets nobody cares about, in area's of space nobody even knows exist, so that in a thousand years time teams of magical historians can know in laborious detail how the entire wizarding war went down. No, just stamp the papers. I'm thinking."

"I still don't get why you don't have to do any paperwork" Muttered Boole

Dirk reacted, as Boole knew he would, be tapping the little plaque attached to his desk. This little plaque was the triumph of Dirk's career. After years of campaigning and letter writing he had finally persuaded the new head of magical law enforcement that his assortment of special skills required a certain amount of mental head-space. And since no other wizard was capable of thinking a swiftly, sharply and shrewdly and him he deserved the right to a 'field work only' pass. After the head of department had said there was no such pass he reliably informed her that he had filled the paper work for the creation of such a role months earlier and it had just been approved; nothing more needed to be done other than to grant him the position he had been made for. Or rather that had been made for him.

A contented sigh escaped Dirk's lips.

Of course there had been a cost, there was always a cost to these things, but he could cope with being pushed to a back office deep within the auror department; he could even cope with the slight reduction in his wages that meant Boole could be taken on as his assistant with minimal expense. No it was all something he could cope with. As long as he could recline in his chair and spend his time just thinking...

Today it was the rubber band ball, small about the size of a muggle baseball he levitated it up to eye level and rotated it around and around looking at it's contours and grooves, enjoying the slowly spinning globe for what it was. And then Boole spoke again.

"What are you thinking about anyway?" He said.

"I _was _thinking about Dumbledore."

"Why?"

A deep sigh, very well, thought Dirk, lets see if you can handle this, "Well you've read Harry Potters official account of what happened haven't you?" He said aloud.

"I skimmed it, all that stuff about the deathly hallows and such, you don't actually believe that shit do you?"

"My belief or lack thereof is unimportant; What _is_ important is Dumbledore. Harry claims Dumbledore was master of the elder wand, having won it from Grindelwald."

"Right"

"But by definition the elder wand cannot be beaten in a duel"

"So?"

"So if Grindelwald was the master of the elder wand, how did Dumbledore best him?"

A beat hung in the air, as Boole realized they had reached the crux of the questioning; chances are this was a test and Dirk knew the correct answer; but he couldn't just say that: unless that was the correct answer and it was a meta-test. But he couldn't say that cause it'd look like he wasn't really trying.

"He cheated?" Boole suggested.

"What great, noble, good to the point of infuriating Dumbledore; cheat his childhood best friend out of a wand? Unlikely"

"Okay then there is no elder wand after all, it is just a legend and these events seem similar to it"

"But then why did Harry need the elder wand to defeat you-know-who? Why did he have to become master of the hallows, why mention it in the report?"

"I don't know drag Harry Potter in and interrogate him on it; I'm sure that'd please the boss no end"

"What on earth would be the point in that? If his report's true he won't know how Dumbledore won the duel either he'll only know it was another thing he never thought to ask Dumbledore"

"Then what's your solution?"

"What if" spoke Dirk now getting up and pacing the room his rubber band ball following after him "What if the elder wand is real but is not a physical wand? What if it's a state of mind or a mental idea, and if that's true then when Harry meant to destroy the wand he instead merely became it's heir which means in turn that the-"

He was cut off by the arrival of a bright red paper aeroplane whizzing through the office door. Dirk deftly caught it in one hand, turned it over and read quickly the instructions.

"Grab your muggle coat" He said excitedly "We have a case."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Dirk Moore walked quickly; so quickly in fact that his assistant Quentin Boole has to almost run to keep up. In fact walked here is a misnomer, because what Dirk achieved was not mere walking but rather a glide; having cast minor elevation charms on both of his shoes, his feet and lower legs achieved a kind of weightlessness. He wasn't actually flying or even floating indeed to the naked eye he was doing nothing more than walking, albeit walking very quickly. But Dirk estimated with his elevated walking technique he was able to save on average 6.4 minutes every working day, which worked out at over 24 hours saved every year. Just think what he could do with that time.

Boole found his bosses heightened pace little more than a nuisance.

"What do we know?" Asked the assistant, anxiously.

"Nothing, just a location" said Dirk "so far." With that Dirk pulled a mobile phone out of his pocket.

"You do know the head of department has never turned hers on?"offered Boole helpfully. Dirk had instigated the switch-over to muggle communications technology 4 years ago. So far only half a dozen witches and wizards owned a phone: but it was a start.

"Why, for the love of god, would I phone the head of department for information about the case?" He hit speed-dial 1 "Jackie Hi...oh you know perfectly well what I want the question is what do you want...well I'll have to-...done. Tell me everything?" He hung up, just as they were coming out of the lift.

"So?"Asked Boole

"Homicide. 50 year old male wizard. Been dead for 10 hours. Found after he failed to show up to work, he was head of a potions ingredient procurement firm, office job. Massive sign of a struggle, duel to the death by all counts. Neighbours didn't report anything to the muggle police. House is a wreck being held together by magic. Area is cordoned off and under control. Died of strangulation, probably a root binding curse, or rope charm; unlikely to be anything unforgivable, but we can't rule that out."

"Reckon it's the work of a left over death eater?"

"Unlikely. For one thing he's a pure blood with no known death eater enemies, for another 80% of known death eaters are accounted for and as Death Eater hits go this seems a bit random."

"Does he have a name?"

"Would it affect the case if he did?"

They apparated into a muddy football field on the outskirts of the muggle village of Siddington; by the time Boole appeared Dirk was standing dry under a hovering muggle umbrella. He quickly tried to cast water repelling charms on his clothing but he was already soaked to the skin. Dirk was striding off into the hammering rain.

"Whose on the scene?" Asked Boole trying to keep things light.

"Matterhorn."

A large man, Matterhorn greeted them at the gate, his burly physique was covered in a thick raincoat, he stood awkwardly in patchy damp trousers and waterlogged boots. Foot patrol Aurors weren't allowed to enchant any items of issue clothing, and one look at Matterhorn's face could discern his four letter long response to this protocol.

"Detectives Moore and Boole I take it you had a pleasant walk?" Auror Protocol required that with the sealing off of the area came anti apparition charms to prevent tampering with the scene.

"Yes, thank-you." Dirk said curtly

"I've been told to brief you on the case-"

"That won't be necessary" said Dirk, already striding up the garden path

"We were briefed on the way." Said Boole by way of explanation as he awkwardly slid passed the auror.

Dirk strode into the dwelling, with Boole following shortly afterwards. They were in a small porch the ceiling was unnaturally curved and half a glance could have told you it was being held up by magic. They edged carefully into the living room.

The evidence of a fight could not have been more obvious, blast holes pot marked the walls, bits of the curtains appeared to still be on fire, sofa's were upturned, stuffing and plaster littered the floor; the stairs had caved in leaving a mottled debris covered carpet hanging from the upper floor. A lonely enchanted scrubbing brush was in vain trying to wash up the wreckage, slowly taking each shard of destroyed cutlery and scrubbing at it furiously before neatly stacking it on the draining board.

"What do you see Boole?"

"It's...a mess-"

"Not of the room, of the man." Interrupted Dirk "Look. Modest collection of books, has read most of them, few old school collections, quite a lot of muggle fiction. Ah Tv guide, man liked his muggle comforts."

"Dirk you're rooting through a pile of logs and ash." Said Boole incredulously.

"This was clearly a bookshelf." Uttered Dirk as if nothing had ever been more obvious. "Now over here a muggle television; on a stand." Dirk was now looking at what Boole would have called half melted bits of plastic on the floor. "Built in DvD player, no stereo system, I'd have to say early 2003 Panasonic model." Said Dirk triumphantly "Aren't I brilliant?"

"Dirk I think you're missing something."

"What?!" Said Dirk, suddenly agitated.

"The body, Dirk." Said Boole gesturing to the large wizards corpse in the centre of the room.

"Oh that," Said Dirk with a a nonchalant wave of his hand.

Dirk squatted down to look at the dead wizards face. He was a modest age, mid fifties with dark blue eyes and grey hair beginning to creep onto the edges of his scalp. He was wearing a thick dark blue rain coat with big pockets and turned up collar with navy jeans and heavy walking shoes. His wand was tightly gripped in his left hand which lay limply at his side. Bruising was evident around his entire neck, his mouth hanging open trying to catch a last gasp of air that would never come.

"Anything intriguing?"

"Still only Matterhorn's Trousers." Replied Dirk

"Sure, Sure...What!?"

"Patchy, half damp with the rain but half dry; wet right leg and a half dry right, our friend Matterhorn has been sitting around the job."

"What nonsense, he was standing to attention when we got here."

"Exactly."

Boole looked puzzled.

"What happens to Magic after we die Boole?"

"It err, well it... goes away? Doesn't it?"

"It fades, it's not a light switch, enchantments that we've set slowly give way over the next few days after our passing; depending on the power of the wizard of course; so what if our dearly departed friend here had a defence enchantment set on the house designed to alert him to the coming of other wizards; not a complicated thing to set up, or even hire a private company to do these days, few hundred galleons they'll promise you all the protection in the world; but this wasn't one of there's oh no this has the ring of personalized magic; so we apparate in start walking here, Matterhorn outside picks up the glimmer of the remnants of the security system; it's masters dead it's desperate to tell someone the house is in danger; he gets a feeling of unease, worries his boss is coming and what she'll think if he's sitting around out there and stands to attention just in time for us to come round the corner; but not long enough to even out his trousers."

Boole was speechless.

"So," continued Dirk "He knew his assailant was coming, but he didn't leave? He came downstairs and put on a raincoat, thinking he had time to leave; but his killer was too quick; he bursts in and the fight breaks out."

"Why put on a raincoat and not just apparate out of here?"

"Maybe he thought he had more time than he did, these security systems rarely get tested until it's to late, certainly he never made it outside his coat is dry as a bone. Ah, unless I'm very much mistaken our peace is about to be disturbed."

"How do you know?"

"Were you listening to what I said about the security system?"

Dirk had no time to Chide his assistant for at that moment this imposing figure of the head of magical law enforcement strode in, her emerald robes billowing behind her.

"What in the name of the Dark Lord are you doing here?" She thundered.


End file.
